7 days a week I eat urgency

I was born with a social stutter.

A handstand's interpretation

from a catapults dictation

during the middle of a three way conversation.

I see things from a different angle.

Although my perceptions can be a source

of alienation distancing me from the general population

my doctor says

my symptoms are acute.

I came to see him

for some direction on socialization

and he told me

“there's a reason why the last 35 years

you have swam against the current

of the rest of civilization. “

He says

I'm on the spectrum.

The most obvious indication

is the disconnection in my retinas.

Eye contact is four alarm siren stare

I can't clam up.

I don't speak skeleton tongue.

All attempts at messages relayed via

mandible and metacarpal

will remain inaudible.

I do, however, happen to be fluent

in misconstruing social cues.

My understanding of facial expressions

looks like a square dance at St. Pats

waiting for confession.

I get my lines crossed.

I suffer from sunshine sensitivity

I shut my eyes and hide my face

when any source of light hits me.

My mom says

I should supplement with vitamin d.

And I hate deviating from routines.

I'm the habit hoarder A&E ordered to cut corners

when they were forced to work against the clocks.

There's a method to my madness

it just takes a little understanding.

People rarely have the time.

My patience is a blockbuster

with wicks burning at both ends.

At some point we will collide

and my intent is that

you receive this message in time.

Because honestly

I don't think I can hide inside

the pressure cooker of one more persons hand

while they try to find a way to let me go

over a simple misunderstanding.

I don't mind

getting lost inside myself from time to time

just as long as somebody comes to find me.

You may not see it when you're looking

but I get lonely.

My cries sound like bagpipes

during a mediation retreat.

Its not the time or place.

So forgive me

if I turnskip

I'm not caught up

on the rest of the worlds interpretation

of appropriate.

I am the lead drummer

in my own Thanksgiving day parade

and I will completely disregard

the weather forecast for the day

and show up in my birthday suit.

I am comfortable in my own skin.

I want the world to see me

for exactly who I am.

Even

if I cant make eye contact.

Just because I have a different perspective

that doesn't deplete my abilities

at keeping up with a friendship.

My loyalty

will always be a given.

My understanding may waiver

from time to time

but my shoulders and my eardrums

work just fine.

So, if you see me gaze off to the side,

I'm probably just constructing

a verbal conversation bubble

that I'll need to refer back to

for translation later.

I hope you don't mind.

It's just that lately I find myself trying to make sense of the way

most people only speak downfall,

and all I keep hearing

is climb.

_Emily A Klein