I got the message sitting frozen on the
bleachers at my daughters soccer practice. The little girl who was
hit by a car around the block earlier this week died today, my
daughter text. My heart shattered, even though I didn't personally
know her. She went to school with my son. That was close enough. Too
close almost.
In the five years we have lived here,
six children have died from either terminal illness or tragic
accident. That's the thing about living in a small town. Tragedy is
condensed. There's only a few degrees of separation between everyone.
News travels fast here. Sometimes its for the worst, others the
better.
It's times like this that really get me
thinking. I feel guilty about any kind of complaining. It makes me
take a longer harder look at my own blessings, stare them straight in
the face(always a challenge) for a reality check about the things I
should be grateful to have.
Society doesn't make it easy. We are
inundated with tv ads and social media telling us who we should be.
Telling us what should make us happy. I'll admit, I've been guilty of
it. Resentful of the girl with the job she loves, the gorgeous home,
loving attentive husband and well behaved kids. Hell yeah I'd want
that.
That's also what society wants me to
think.
It's human nature to want the next best
thing, it's what keeps us moving and prevents stagnation.
The truth is, in times like this, more
than ever, my eyes are wide open. As bad as things may seem, someone
always has it worse.
It's like when I was little. Every
night before I went to sleep my sister and I used to tell each other
one thing we had to be happy about or look forward to. These were the
thoughts we fell asleep to.
I think back to those days and say
maybe we weren't that far off. But I wonder at the same time, if as a
society we spend too much time fantasizing and worrying about the
future we lose sense of the present. We miss those moments, and we
cant get them back.
A family within a few miles of me is
mourning the death of a child. Every time they drive by that
telephone pole in town they will think of their daughter. The last
place they saw her. I'll jog past that same pole everyday and think
God damnit I'm lucky. I'll still feel a heavy sadness, but I still
get to go home to my kids. Honestly, I cant think of anything else
that's more important.
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